Well after purchasing Animal Crossing, this little gem of a game has worked it's way into my heart. For some time, I will type up summaries of how my day in Animal Crossing went. Don't want to read about it? Too freaking bad.
December 26th, 2002
I finally purchased Animal Crossing, a game I've been wanting for a while. A game that lasts years was too good to pass up. I couldn't wait to see what would develop in my town.
On the initial train ride towards my town, I name my town Manassas, after my home town. My character was named Nelson, because coming up with something clever was just too damn hard. The cat that sat across from me on the train continually laughed at my name. Sadly, there was no "STFU" option in the dialogue menus. The cat arranged a meeting with the local shopkeeper, Tom Nook. He was going to hook me up with a sweet-ass pad. Finally, the cat had some meaning in life. Once the train had stopped, I stepped off and looked at the local map. My town had been arranged in the worst way possible: a river ran vertically through the middle of the map, while a cliff ran horizontally. The only thing on my side was Tom Nook's shop, a house for Kiki and one for Poncho (my hetero soul-mate) and the post office. Everything else was on the other side of the cliff.
Tom Nook introduced himself and offered my 1 of 4 houses. I gleefully opened the door to find a house smaller than a hobo's cardboard box. Not what I expected. Worse yet, most had horribly ugly wallpaper and flooring. I picked the house with a yellow roof because I thought it was the best placed one; it turned out to be the one nearest the cliff. :/
After making several arrangements with the bastard Tom Nook, I was to do several chores for him in order to pay off my loan. My first chore was to plant flowers and trees around his shop. No problem, right? Well after I was finished, Nook had some cocky remarks about how if it looked like crap, at least he wouldn't be blamed. Once again, no "STFU" option to be found.
My next task was to introduce myself to the locals. This was what I had been looking forward to, the interactions with other animals. First up was my neighbor Kiki, one foxy cat who was always cheerful. Even when I put in the negative remarks, she was still glad to talk to me. I decided she would be my bitch. Next up was Poncho, the local blue bear. He loves fishing and talking about moving away. He has the most character out of all the animals in my town; he has actual moods that change day by day. Poncho would be my best-friend in the town, no matter what. Bears are cool - blue bears are even cooler.
On the far right of the cliff was Bob, a sexually-frustrated cat. He was purple, wore clothes with flowers, and his house was a freaking toy box. Oddly enough, one of the items in his house was te Nintendo 64 logo. Stealing it proved futile. Down the road was a female toad named Puddles. Out of all the animals to give me the most grief, it was her. She was obsessed with snow and snowman. Worse yet, when I needed to locate her for an item, she was rarely near her house. Farther down was Limber the rat. Ahhh, Limberg. He is my mortal enemy. No matter what I did, he had some smart ass response. Even when I tried to start conversation, his only reply was "what do you want?" Fine. Screw him, no one likes rats anyways. To the north of him was Robin, which was a female...robin. A depressive bird, she doesn't really interact with anyone in the town and once I caught her with blood-shot eyes. She also has smart-ass answers, so hopefull one day she will either commit suicide or leave town. Whichever's faster.
I returned to Nook, where he had me run more erands. Nothing special, in fact kind of boring. When I was done, my little Nelson (the one in the game, you pervert) did a dance. I began asking the animals for errands, and in return they gave me furniture and Bells, the local currency. I paid off half my debt and called it a day. Metroid Prime would occupy the rest of the night.
December 27th, 2002
I awoke with new feelings of joy. I couldn't wait to run more errands and fit my pad with some kick ass furniture. Unfortunately, this day would end far worse. In my rush to pay off my debt, Robin said I talked to much. Twice. After that, more and more animals made similar comments. That whore. I know they're talking behind my back. The only animal to stick by my side was Poncho, good ole' Poncho. He could care less unless it was about fishing or moving. I love Poncho.
I basically sucked the animals dry off any work to do. More and more often they would have nothing for me to do, so I started shaking trees for money. I picked off about 500 Bells, which was pretty sweet.
And then it happened.
One tree shook and dropped a bee's hive to the ground. I panicked and ran like hell....into a tree. Boxed in, the bees attacked and ravaged my once youthful face. When they left, a giant swollen eye had replaced my good one. I have since then began a campaign on the eradication of bees.
At first, I was laughing. Nelson looked downright funny with a swollen eye. I returned to Poncho to chat it up, but he was angry with me. "What were you doing shaking trees? Are you hiding something?!" This was a rhetorical question, but I had assumed some options would drop down. None did. Poncho became extremely angry with me, called me a few names, and stormed off. Day 2 wasn't going too well.
While delivering a gameboy to Robin, I accidently pressed "B" instead of "A" which meant to her I had her gift, but wouldn't give it. She cursed my soul and walked off. People pissed at me today: 2. I asked Limberg for some chores, but he wasn't helpful at all. More smart-ass remarks. That Limberg will die at my hands.
The final thing wrong with my day was Puddles. She had the most painful of the jobs to do: build a snowman. Sounds easy? Oh it is. Roll 2 snowballs together and voila! But because of the my town was built, getting two snowballs to her was impossible. The snowballs would fall off cliffs - and explode. They would roll into the river - and explode. They would fall off cliffs into rivers - and explode. I gave up.
On my way to the beach to pick up shells for selling, I found a dead bird. No joke. At least, I thought he was dead. After a few pokes, he awoke. His name was Gulliver, and he told me a tale of how he was on a ship and had fallen into the water and washed up on the shore of Manassas. I skipped through most of his story, but he gave me the coolest gift ever: knight armor. I sell most of the gifts I recieve, but this was too cool. I kept it house and would not sell it.
To make myself feel better after remembering my love Poncho, I purchased a shovel. Ahh, a shovel wouldn't let me down. I dug several mighty holes, I did. I even found some fossils and sent them away for examination. The shovel was the highlight of my day. Realizing at how much damage I had caused in the beautiful town of Manassas, I closed all the holes and went to bed.
December 28th, 2002
Today would be much better than the last, I assured myself. And it was. Everyone had forgotten yesterday's events, a new animal had moved in, and my house had doubled in size. After paying Nook off, he had made my house much larger, and changed my roof a swanky shade of blue. Too cool.
The new animal in town was a female wolf named Freya. They might as well have called her Freyabot 5000, she was dead inside. No character whatsoever, she never had any chores for me to do. Once she even made a comment on how humans get sick faster than animals in the winter. That's...super.
I tried making a snowman again, with greater success. One snowman was standing proud in front of Puddle's house. I ran to talk to her about it and she replied "You know what I would love? A snowman on my front yard!" I placed a plague upon her household and ran off. All my work for nothing. I crushed one section of the snowman with my lovely shovel and pushed the other half into the river. Never again, I swore. Never again.
After mailing a racy letter to Kiki, I met up with Poncho. He was really talking about leaving. In fact, one of the options was "Pleeeeeeease leave!" I didn't want Poncho to leave, he was one bad mutha trucka. After saying no to his pleas, he realized what a great friend I was. He would stay for a little bit longer, but the world was calling and he had to accept the charges.
After running a few more errands, I saved up relatively early. More Metroid Prime. Call me crazy, but I believe Samus just can't compete with Kiki's hot body, but there's nothing wrong with oggling them both.
Mr. Bigggshot's Animal Crossing Session #1: Manassas Blues
