THE AOL CAR!
The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH
yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic
8-Track tape player{tm}.
The car would often refuse to start and owners would tell you to just expect
this and try again later.
The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver
from seeing better cars.
AOL would sell the same model car year after year
and claim it's the NEW model.
Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for
no apparent reason.
The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lotsa pretty colors and lights.
The AOL car would have only one door but
it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must
continue to make payments for 6 months.
If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take
the car off of them.
The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL
car cell phones.
AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other
car dealerships.
AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other
peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo. AOL cars would
be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave
worse mileage.
Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL
car owner.
AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger
than they really are. AOL cars would come with a steering
wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them. Every
time you close the door on the AOL car it would say,
"good-bye."
If Aol Made Cars...
