Tired of the same old console wars?

Problem sloved

The steponthecracks5000

Best Graphics?

steponthecracks5000, hands down.

But step, what about Metroid Prime? What about Splinter Cell? What about all those great looking games out there?

Guess what. Since the games for the steponthecracks5000 take place in reality, it has superior graphics.

Best controls?

steponthecracks5000

But step, I really like the PS2 controller! The gamecube controller is good too! So is the xbox!

Ever used your hands before? That’s what you get to use with the steponthecracks5000.

I bet you’re waiting to see this incredible machine.

Here it is.


They are available in different styles and sizes. Though the size does limit the games you can play



here are some steponthecrscks5000s ready for shipment.



some may use the steponthecracks5000 for storage, it is not recommended




It has every game you can imagine.

Adventure games!


Hobo Adventures

Role Playing Games!

Chicken Quest

Fighting Games!



Cat Fighter

Games for kids


Super Happy Fun Bubble Wrap Popper

Multiplayer!



Simulation games!



Upcoming games!
Poke people with sticks
Throw rocks at the guy in the box
Gerbil Fighter
Lick your elbow
Don’t fart in the box
Hunger Strike
Look at your chin
Fedex adventure
Help, I’m stuck in a box
Waffle maker
Find something to rhyme with orange

The steponthecracks5000 can even be used as a helmet



This is one user’s set-up. It is not advised to leave Cat Fighter in the steponthecracks5000 when not playing



Modding your steponthecrakcs5000 is highly frowned apon



Care and Maintenance


Now some testimonials from users you know

UsernamesSuck - “It sure is nifty! Even better than having my alma mater beaten by the Ohio State buckeyes!”

Aro5389 - “I’m making a “50 reasons to own a steponthecracks5000” thread RIGHT NOW!!!”

________________ - “This review is biased”

3mpir3 – “People will never pay for steponthecracks5000 online! They can get it for free on their computer!!!”

G-xis – “Forget Amazatron! this is where it’s at!”

Neuropiate – “You do realize that it’s just a cardboard box, don’t you?”

silentsnipa1 – “NE1 ELSE LOOVORXORS THE SOTC5000? WHER DOO I GETR WUN!!!”

9erman – “I like my steponthecracks5000 even more than the 49ers!”

misterbigggshot – “I’d give up my third g for a steponthecracks5000!”

no_seas_mammon – “Myy sistr tooke a poo in mi steponthecracks5000”

namlas “I’d rather play my steponthecracks5000 than ban people!”




yes, i made this for ign, so the testimonials don't really fit...