Top gifts this wedding season:
- Terrorist Manual - for the do-it-your-selfer; make your own bombs for getting rid of tree-stumps on your property or other unwanted visitors.
- Battery Packs - place these into a nice basket with the terrorist manual for festive, themed gift-giving.
- ID making equipment - for that discerning bride who never was happy with her ID photo. Change your photo to suit your mood or your outfit!
- Artillery Sighting Binoculars - for taking in the beautiful sunsets with your new spouse.
- Guns - who doesn't like guns? Show the wedding party you care enough to provide for their safety. AK-47s are very popular this year yet still in good supply, it won't be difficult for you to get one, or two, or twenty.

The chic wedding planner will insist that the wedding celebration have all the requisite accoutrements for happy guests:
- Plenty of Accomodations - make sure your guests have a place to rest if you plan on partying late into the night; beds for 300 should suffice.
- Adequate Medical Facilities - the days of having a simple first-aid box on hand are passe'. Today's modern bride will insist on a fully stocked emergency room, complete with an examining table and complete operating supplies - lest any of your wedding guests suffer major trauma during the celebrations.
- A change of clothes - it's surprising how many brides forget this, but ready-made, pre-packaged clothing is simply a must at today's modern wedding. How many times have you been at a wedding and spilled a drink, dribbled some kufta down your front, or simply wanted a fresh change of clothing? You should plan on stocking at least two sets of clothes for each guest.
- Anonymity - ask your guests to leave their identification at home. Wallets can get in the way when the party really kicks into gear. And who wants to stop a party just because someone's lost their wallet? Besides, if you get an ID Kit as a present, this will be a perfect time to use it.

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In this country, we don't need reasons to make things legal; we need reasons to make things illegal. - Startup