congrats

here are a few jokes:

one man thinks his wife is having an affair, so he decides to buy a parot. He goes to his liocal pet shop and asks for a parrot which can speak. The assistant says "we have one perticular breed which can speak, it's $300". The man says "do u have anything in my pricerange?". The shop assistant says "come round the back a minute". Round the back of the shop the assitant shows the man and bird which can speak for $50, but there was a catch, it has no feet and clings to it's pertch by it's dick!. Never the less the man bought and the next day before he set off to work he placed the bird in his bedroom and asked it to remember everything what happens while he is at work. When the man comes back from work he asks the bird if anything happened an the bird replied:
"The milkman rang,The milkman rang,he came up the stairs,came up the stairs,got into bed with your bed with your wife, with your wife"
the man said what happened next and the bird replied "i don't i got a boner and fell off of my pertch"

a plane crashes in a dense rainforest and there are only three surivors, 3 men, bob , fred and frank. Thjey are captured by canabals. the canabals say they will spare their lifes if they can venture into the jungle and bring back ten peices of the same fruit. The men set off. afetr a while bob returns with 10 bananas. He asks to go but the canabals have one more request, he has to shove all 10 peices up his arse without making any facial expressions at all, or they will kill him. bob accepts and sadfully only managed 1 banana so he was killed. A little while later fred comes back with 10 berries, the canabals tell him the same thing as the first and he accepted. He got to 9 berries and burst out laughing, so he was killed. In heaven bob and fred met up. bob asked why did you laugh, you nearly did 10? fred replied" i laughed because i saw frank returing with 10 pinapples!"