Considering I do almost all of these things I dont see whats funny. Of course those are intended for people who are more interested in having a relationship instead of just getting in a girls pants. Points 5 and 7 are actually good things to do. I walk up behind my gf all the time and put my arms around her when we are at school and stuff. Point 7, there is nothing wrong with hold hands. Its called showing affection with some taste, especially in public. It seems like you havn't found anyone that you truely care about enough to put these points into use, so someday you may look back at these and see past the sexest comments that you made for most of them.